Stairbags

Idea: A service that uses artificial intelligence to detect if you're falling down the stairs and quickly deploy a safety mechanism to minimize your injuries, such as inflatable bags that shoot forward out of the vertical portion of each stair ("stairbags"), walls that swing out to block your way before you gain momentum, or stairs that turn into a slip-n-slide with a soft landing of some sort at the bottom of the stairwell. Also: using a vat of pudding or food at the bottom of the stairs, so if you're injured and you can't get up, you can survive on the food for days or weeks; safety concerns about using a vat of alcohol at the bottom of the stairs; using slip-n-slide stairs as a security mechanism to keep burglars from going up the stairs and (optionally) to impale them at the bottom of the stairs

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Possum Pack Rental

Idea: Possums that you can rent to eat all of the ticks in your yard. Also: possums that eat ticks can absorb lyme disease without re-transmitting it; a possum's dead horse smorgasboard; sisterhood of the possum-loving local comics

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Safety Nunchucks

Idea: To put artificial intelligence inside nunchucks that can detect if the nunchuck is about to (accidentally) hit you in the face, and if so, to inflate a small, "swim floatie"-sized airbag contained in the nunchuck to soften the blow before it hits you in the face. Also: the word "foe"; getting hit in the face with a car's airbag during a car crash; chafed nipples from swimming with inner tubes

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Time-Release Caffeine Pills

Idea: A caffeine pill that you take before going to bed at night which kicks in and wakes you up at a specific time in the morning, so you don't have to fight against your tiredness to get up and make coffee in the morning. Also: are classic sleeping pranks real or myth?; a robot which throws a cold, wet washcloth on your face to wake you up; a revelation that requiring stimulants or gadgets to wake up could be a warning sign that you should lead a healthier lifestyle

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Evil Genie Dream Machine

Idea: A sci-fi machine to allow an external signal (such as a computer program or someone else's mind) to control your dreams. However, the dream machine is buggy, so it causes you to get out of bed and do stuff while you're still asleep which is similar to your dream, but slightly different in an evil or humiliating way. Examples: dreaming of sleeping with Wonder Woman and then waking up with an obese neighbor wearing a Wonder Woman T-shirt; dreaming of eating at a fancy restaurant and then waking up with a full stomach but with the cops at your door to arrest you for stealing silverware from a restaurant and for not paying your bill

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)