Smart Ladder

Idea: To put electronics into ladders to tell you if it's safe to climb them and to call an ambulance if you fall off. Also: a built-in breathalyzer; rungs that fold down to prevent you from climbing up too high if the ladder determines it's unsafe; ladder add-on/extension devices such as stakes to stick into the dirt or "snake arms" on the top of the ladder to wrap around a tree branch or other support-providing object; speakers to warn you if the ladder is starting to become unstable and to play the song "It's Raining Men" if you fall off; discussing the scariness of using a ladder

Stu McCallister (Twitter: @StuMcCallister Podcast: LmnoPodcast)
Kevin C (Planet Ant Farm Team)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Note: Justin Siekierka does not appear on this idea/episode due to technical issues

"U Get What U Get" Restaurant

Idea: A restaurant which intentionally serves you a different meal than what you ordered. The food you receive will be in the same general category/family as what you ordered (i.e. if you order a soup, they bring you a different soup; if you order a vegan dish, they bring you a different vegan dish). The food will be high quality and will not be pre-cooked. Also: after they've served you, they'll tell you what food it actually is (you won't be left wondering what you're looking at on your plate); they may expand upon the theme by giving you wrongly-sized eating utensils, having a different waiter/waitress come to your table each time, randomizing the dinner reservation waitlist, etc.; why people who work in restaurants hate DoorDash, Uber Eats, GrubHub, and Postmates

Stu McCallister (Twitter: @StuMcCallister Podcast: LmnoPodcast)
Kevin C (Planet Ant Farm Team)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Note: Justin Siekierka does not appear on this idea/episode due to technical issues

Troll Finder App

Idea: A (satirical) app or web service to identify Internet trolls and help you *legally* commit acts of vengeance upon them, such as legalized "swatting" and leaving flaming bags of poo at their door. Also: debating whether responding to a troll with anger and hate makes you a troll, or whether only the person who "threw the first punch" should be considered a troll; an alternative "troll finder" web service which finds the other social media accounts of a troll and allows you to send messages to those other accounts but doesn't reveal ("dox") those other accounts to you; using Wile E Coyote fake doors to prevent "swatting"; wanting to be trolled because it would be fun to use a "Troll Finder App" against a troll; a few examples of Internet comments on the border of trolling and constructive criticism, and deciding whether they'd warrant a vengeful response

Justin Siekierka (Comedy Shows: Bearded Lamb Brewing Co Rusted Crow)
Stu McCallister (Twitter: @StuMcCallister Podcast: LmnoPodcast)
Kevin C (Planet Ant Farm Team)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Recycling Balls and Trash Balls

Idea: To put recyclables and/or trash in reusable balls which would roll down a chute into an outdoor trash bin to be collected automatically. Also: you wouldn't need to "take out the trash"; third-world slums could put their trash in the trash balls and then throw them into the river to be caught by Boyan Slot's famous plastic pollution-catching machines (i.e. instead of just collecting "pollution", these machines would function as the official municipal trash service)

Sara Young (Facebook: @CallMeGracie Web: sys-etching.com)
Nick Kelley (Podcast: Ride AALong Instagram: @nickkelleyyy)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Elderly Parent Driving Prevention Ideas

A brainstorming session on how to prevent or dissuade elderly parents who are too old to safely drive from driving, including practical ideas such as grocery delivery and virtual family videoconferencing, and also silly ideas such breaking the heater in their car, surrounding their house with a moat, and having them wear a "life collar" which shocks them if they leave the yard and also functions as a wearable defibrillator and medication dispenser

Sara Young (Facebook: @CallMeGracie Web: sys-etching.com)
Nick Kelley (Podcast: Ride AALong Instagram: @nickkelleyyy)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

On-Hold Chat Buddy

Idea: For a business who places you on hold to connect you to another person who's also waiting on hold, so you can complain about the company together, become friends, and/or figure out each other's tech support problems. Also: you could try to anger the other person on hold to get them to hang up and you move up in the hold queue; lonely old people could volunteer to chat with people who're on hold, which might eventually cause your grandma to learn tech support and become more tech-savvy than you, in which case SHE will have to help YOU when your computer breaks down

Carl Sobel (Facebook: Comedy Night at River City Saloon Twitter: @carl_sobel)
Parker Hammon (Twitter: @parker_hammon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Retail Worker F You Card

Idea: A card given to retail workers once a year, where if the retail worker gives the card to a rude customer, they can insult, yell at, curse at, and/or humiliate the customer for 30 seconds without consequence (i.e. without getting fired). Also: tracking rude customers who receive "F You Cards" in a government database (i.e. the Chinese "social credit score" but made fun); a rude customer repeatedly receiving "F You Cards" who lashes out against society and becomes the Joker; staging extremely elaborate "F You Card" incidents to try to go viral on the Internet; giving your "F You Card" to the same rude customer 15 years in a row

Carl Sobel (Facebook: Comedy Night at River City Saloon Twitter: @carl_sobel)
Parker Hammon (Twitter: @parker_hammon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Keyboard Cat Blocker

Idea: A device which disables or blocks your keyboard if your cat's gonna sit on it, so it doesn't press random keys and mess up your work or whatever you're doing on the computer. Also: a decoy keyboard; a cat suit made of keyboards to make a keyboard-cat-keyboard sandwich; a keyboard which uses cucumbers or tin foil to scare the cat; if a cat lays on a keyboard, does the cat hair clean the chunks of food out of the keyboard, or does it just make the keyboard dirtier?

Jack Reeves (Twitter: @jackreeeeves Podcast: NoProbcast)
Nicole Melnyk (Twitter: @mcfancyvonpants Podcast Instagram:@noprobcast)
Simon Carlson (Twitter: @its_ah_me_simon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Talking Golf Ball

Idea: A golf ball with a speaker inside to play programmable messages to help you find the ball if you lose it, to yell "fore" if it's gonna hit someone, to allow your golf buddies to program your ball to taunt you if you shoot a bad shot, to make animal noises to scare other people away from your ball or to get animals to move your ball closer to the hole, etc. Also: a multispecies golf relay; a golf ball that makes you listen to commercials before you tee off and which vibrates to mess up your shot if you try to skip the commercials; a really, really, really long headphone cord for the "hard of hearing"

Jack Reeves (Twitter: @jackreeeeves Podcast: NoProbcast)
Nicole Melnyk (Twitter: @mcfancyvonpants Podcast Instagram:@noprobcast)
Simon Carlson (Twitter: @its_ah_me_simon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Stairbags

Idea: A service that uses artificial intelligence to detect if you're falling down the stairs and quickly deploy a safety mechanism to minimize your injuries, such as inflatable bags that shoot forward out of the vertical portion of each stair ("stairbags"), walls that swing out to block your way before you gain momentum, or stairs that turn into a slip-n-slide with a soft landing of some sort at the bottom of the stairwell. Also: using a vat of pudding or food at the bottom of the stairs, so if you're injured and you can't get up, you can survive on the food for days or weeks; safety concerns about using a vat of alcohol at the bottom of the stairs; using slip-n-slide stairs as a security mechanism to keep burglars from going up the stairs and (optionally) to impale them at the bottom of the stairs

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Possum Pack Rental

Idea: Possums that you can rent to eat all of the ticks in your yard. Also: possums that eat ticks can absorb lyme disease without re-transmitting it; a possum's dead horse smorgasboard; sisterhood of the possum-loving local comics

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Safety Nunchucks

Idea: To put artificial intelligence inside nunchucks that can detect if the nunchuck is about to (accidentally) hit you in the face, and if so, to inflate a small, "swim floatie"-sized airbag contained in the nunchuck to soften the blow before it hits you in the face. Also: the word "foe"; getting hit in the face with a car's airbag during a car crash; chafed nipples from swimming with inner tubes

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Evil Genie Dream Machine

Idea: A sci-fi machine to allow an external signal (such as a computer program or someone else's mind) to control your dreams. However, the dream machine is buggy, so it causes you to get out of bed and do stuff while you're still asleep which is similar to your dream, but slightly different in an evil or humiliating way. Examples: dreaming of sleeping with Wonder Woman and then waking up with an obese neighbor wearing a Wonder Woman T-shirt; dreaming of eating at a fancy restaurant and then waking up with a full stomach but with the cops at your door to arrest you for stealing silverware from a restaurant and for not paying your bill

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Dino-Sores

Idea: A medication that doesn't cure cold sores, genital herpes sores, or other bodily sores, and instead changes the shape of the sores to look like your favorite dinosaur. Also: this would take away your ability to lie and falsely claim that a cold sore is a pimple; Pokemon-themed sores (you've gotta catch 'em all); the possibility of revenge from the tattoo industry; dino-sore medication side effects during pregnancy and an alternative origin story for Jurassic Park

Thomas Stineman (Facebook: @thomas.z.stineman)
Justin Siekierka (Comedy Shows: Liberty-Street-Brewing-Co Rusted Crow Canton Village Theater)
Tom Walma (Web: creativitywasted.com Twitter: @thomaswalma)
Felicity Blue (Twitter: @FelFelBlue)

Physical Skills As Roadside Sobriety Tests

Idea: For cops to use tests of physical motor skills as sobriety tests, as opposed to mental sobriety tests with no relation to the physical act of driving, such as saying the alphabet backwards or following a moving pen with your eyes. Physical skill-based sobriety tests could be party games (Dance Dance Revolution, ping-pong), demonstrations of a physical talent (such as juggling), or a driving simulator videogame built into the back seat of the cop car. Also: being exempt from a sobriety test if you just bowled a 288; asking the illiterate to say the alphabet backwards; a reality show in a bar where they make you do physical tests to get your keys to drive home

Jon Houser (Web: jonhousercomedy.com Twitter: @JonHouserComedy)
Travis Hargan (Web: mrhahahargan.com)
Jeremy Shipley (Facebook: @jeremy.shipley.359)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Weed Passing Device

Idea: A device to pass weed across the room to your friends without getting up from the couch. Ideas include a ball with a bong inside which is gyroscopically kept upright ("Ballabong"), an "Inspector Gadget"-style extendable device ("Bong Tongs"), a joint with aerodynamic fins to allow you to throw it like a dart ("Jart") or shoot from a Nerf crossbow ("Crossjoint"), a weed catapult ("Cannapult"), and beach balls filled by a Volcano vaporizor ("99 Luftvapeballons"). Also: weed on Mars; dodgebong or "hot potato" where you smoke the potato; the best-case scenario for being hit in the face

Jon Houser (Web: jonhousercomedy.com Twitter: @JonHouserComedy)
Travis Hargan (Web: mrhahahargan.com)
Jeremy Shipley (Facebook: @jeremy.shipley.359)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Uber Ambulance

Idea: An Uber-like transportation service where the drivers use normal vehicles (i.e. not ambulances) to recklessly speed you to the hospital, for much less cost than a traditional ambulance. Also: a cheaper alternative for less life-threatening injuries; strapping the injured person to the hood so the cops know why you're speeding; euthanasia via Miata

Jimmy Slims (Instagram: @jimmyslimscomedy Twitter: @jimmy_slims)
Bart Dangus (Twitter: @bartdangus Podcast: Big Time Garbage)
Tom Walma (Web: creativitywasted.com Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Drone Food Delivery To Moving Vehicles

Idea: To have drones deliver food to people in moving vehicles, such as cars stuck in traffic. Also: how some technology of today would seem insane and/or ridiculous to people in the past; holding out bags of food on hooks which people on trains can grab as the train drives by; having drones swap your normal helmet with a "beer helmet" while you're driving a motorcycle

Gimmy Cipriano (YouTube: ABitTooMuch)
Kara Coraci (Twitter: @KaraCoraci Web: crotchie.com)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Plug-In Liver

Idea: An extra liver that you can plug in to your body after drinking heavily to reduce your hangover and/over reduce the long-term harmful effects of the alcohol. Also: crazy medical devices which actually exist (or could exist) but aren't made available because they're only for recreation (i.e. they don't improve your health); why dentistry is a scam; learning how to make illegal drugs while serving as a juror in a trial

James Couture (Instagram: @secretbeefcake)
Justin Siekierka (Comedy Shows: Liberty Street Brewing Co Rusted Crow Canton Village Theater)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

A Taste of Reality

Idea: Chocolates which (unlike Dove) don't display unrealistically positive messages on the wrapper. Instead, they display realistic messages, such as reminders to perform errands ("make sure you have AA batteries") and comedically dark/demotivational messages ("your spouse probably settled", "you're too old to achieve your dreams"). Also: some of the chocolates could taste bad on purpose to remind you of the harshness of reality; the messages could be tailored to you based on a scan of your social media; positive messages should be reserved for healthy food like vegetables (instead of chocolates) to lure people to better health instead of to obesity and diabetes

Dave Wellfare (The AM Mayhem Podcast with Mojo and Dave)
Justin Siekierka (Comedy Shows: Liberty Street Brewing Co Rusted Crow Canton Village Theater)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)