Dual-Use Nuclear War Prep Ideas

Ideas on how to prepare to survive a non-direct-hit nuclear blast that you can also use for other purposes, so you're not wasting your money and accumulating junk which will probably never be used, including an extendable roof that can extend all the way down to the ground to cover your windows during a bomb blast and also allow you to have more solar panels on your roof or to sled down it in the winter, a sprinkler system on your roof to protect your house from burning down during a bomb blast or a forest fire, a storage space underneath a waterbed that you can lay in to use the water of the bed to block the radiation that seeps through your walls. Also: levels of sadism at which you can find something funny without feeling guilty about it; pressing a board against the inside of your windows to support them and painting the board to look like the inside of your house from the outside (Wile E. Coyote style) so your neighbors don't judge you; the 3 things we'd want in a bomb shelter

Ace Armstrong (Twitter: @AceSmellsFunny YouTube: @acesmellsfunny)
Deepak "DP" Aggarwal (Twitter: @not8AllFunny)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Bad Singer Living in a Musical (Movie)

Idea: A movie set in a universe where people sing and dance all of the time (like in a musical or Bollywood movie), and the protagonist is horribly bad at both singing and dancing, which causes his life to be very difficult. Also: Angelyne and the Rockefeller-era woman who couldn't sing but her rich parents tried to make her a famous singer; Bear Grylls struggling to live with the Kardashians, as narrated by David Attenborough

Ace Armstrong (Twitter: @AceSmellsFunny YouTube: @acesmellsfunny)
Deepak "DP" Aggarwal (Twitter: @not8AllFunny)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Small Talk Mask

Idea: A speaker hidden inside a mask which uses AI to talk for you (pretending to be you) so you don't have to small talk. Also: it could "trash talk" for you if you get tongue-tied in stressful situations; it could help standup comedians by handling heckers, doing your act for you if you lose your spot in your set, or the audience could wear it and it could laugh for them; it could be warn on other parts of your body, such as to be a fart machine

Ace Armstrong (Twitter: @AceSmellsFunny YouTube: @acesmellsfunny)
Deepak "DP" Aggarwal (Twitter: @not8AllFunny)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Jimmy Olsen's Blues (Movie)

Idea: A movie, based on the song "Jimmy Olsen's Blues" by the "Spin Doctors", starring Jimmy Olsen, a photographer who works with Lois Lane in the Superman universe. In the movie, Jimmy's in love with Lois Lane, and he's jealous and angry that she's in love with Superman, who's incompetent, clumsy, and arrogant, and is only able to defeat villains due to dumb luck and Jimmy's help. And so Jimmy decides to kill Superman. Also: "Mr. Bean" as Superman and other casting ideas; telling somebody they'd make a good villain and then feeling awkward when they ask why; Bollywood movies and sad songs with weirdly upbeat dance numbers

Ace Armstrong (Twitter: @AceSmellsFunny YouTube: @acesmellsfunny)
Deepak "DP" Aggarwal (Twitter: @not8AllFunny)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Chat Availability Indicator In Real Life

Idea: A social-media-style indicator light to indicate whether you're willing to chat (or flirt or otherwise interact) with nearby people in real life. It would either be displayed in the other person's augmented-reality glasses or on your earring. It could either display the same value (such as "green: available to chat" or "red: not available to chat") to everyone, or display different values to different people to indicate which people you want to talk to. Also: the risk of it making people even more antisocial; either using it as feedback to help train people to read body language or using it as a crutch to never bother to understand body language; everybody immediately pulling out their phones to set a green light every time an attractive woman walks into a room

Jason Fylan-Mares (Facebook: @DoomsdayShelterComedy Facebook: @jason.m.fylan)
Michael Cesaro (Facebook: @michael.cesaro.7)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Election Trust Issues and Vote Counting Issues

A conversation about elections and how weird it is that the media can call the result of an election with only like 10% of the votes counted. Also: ideas to increase trust in the election results, including a) forcing the media to wait until all of the votes are counted before announcing a result, b) attaching a random number to your ballot so you can enter that number into a web site later to ensure that your vote was counted, and c) forcing politicians to wear logos of their corporate sponsors like NASCAR drivers; hoping for all of the election chaos during the midterm elections (because a Civil War would never be triggered by midterms)

Jason Fylan-Mares (Facebook: @DoomsdayShelterComedy Facebook: @jason.m.fylan)
Michael Cesaro (Facebook: @michael.cesaro.7)
"Jaded" Jaden (Facebook: @JADEDJADENCOMEDY)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Name-Remembering Glasses

Idea: Augmented-reality glasses with an app which displays the names of people who you're looking at, so you don't have to remember their names. It may also display info about the person and how you know them. Also: the difficulty of teachers to remember student names, especially years later when running into them outside of school; assigning a person a "monster avatar" in the glasses as a memorization aide; discussing problems with high school education

Jason Fylan-Mares (Facebook: @DoomsdayShelterComedy Facebook: @jason.m.fylan)
Michael Cesaro (Facebook: @michael.cesaro.7)
"Jaded" Jaden (Facebook: @JADEDJADENCOMEDY)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Gen Z Cultural Illiteracy Ideas

A conversation on how weird it is that so many young people hadn't heard of Jeffrey Dahmer before the recent Netflix show, and how Gen Z (and sometimes older people as well) don't know hardly anything about the culture or history from the decades before they reached adulthood. This conversation includes some (unsuccessful) brainstorming of ideas on how to solve that problem. Also: are low attention spans, binge watching, social media, and/or an overabundance of non-educational entertainment choices the cause of the problem, or are neglectful parents who don't talk to their kids and/or inspire their kid's intellectual curiosity to blame; an idea for the government replace PSAs with "educational product placement" within popular shows and video games (which would cover much broader educational topics than today's PSAs); an idea for a parental control app that forces kids to consume educational content before being able to continue to use social media, TV, or videogames; TV shows like "The Walking Dead" and sci-fi which aren't educational per-se, but can make you think, such as to speculate on how to survive in fictional scenarios

Jason Fylan-Mares (Facebook: @DoomsdayShelterComedy Facebook: @jason.m.fylan)
Michael Cesaro (Facebook: @michael.cesaro.7)
"Jaded" Jaden (Facebook: @JADEDJADENCOMEDY)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Self-Driving Car Pothole Filling Device

Idea: A device in the "frunk" of a self-driving electric vehicle which drops hot asphalt or other road materials into a pothole as you drive over it (without stopping the car). If you did this (i.e. used your self-driving car to help repair the roads), you wouldn't have to pay EV road taxes. Also: using hovercraft-like cars to float over potholes; the risk of other cars driving into the hot asphalt that you just put in the pothole, and other possible problems with the idea; stories of potholes giving us flat tires

Vivian Burgett (Instagram: @vivianburgettcomedy)
Juan Carlos Calvachi (Instagram: @jcalvachi)
John Johnson (Facebook: @johnnyrightnow)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Starfish Children's Book

Idea: A children's book about a dumb, barely sentient starfish on land trying to figure out how simple things work, like how to cross a road or navigate in a town. Also: accidentally coming up with ideas that've already been done (SpongeBob, Starro); a cousin who self-published a book on Amazon that pokes fun of a coworker; ending the book how most stars' lives end: in a drug overdose

Vivian Burgett (Instagram: @vivianburgettcomedy)
Juan Carlos Calvachi (Instagram: @jcalvachi)
John Johnson (Facebook: @johnnyrightnow)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Garden De-Worming Birds

Idea: To train birds to eat the worms off of plants in a garden on command. Also: using drones to de-worm plants and then feed the worms to birds, which would then become too fat and lazy to fly; using the same trained birds to eat head lice off of people's heads; an anti-dandelion conspiracy theory

Vivian Burgett (Instagram: @vivianburgettcomedy)
Juan Carlos Calvachi (Instagram: @jcalvachi)
John Johnson (Facebook: @johnnyrightnow)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

ThanksKaren Day

Idea: A holiday where "Karens" who got caught committing an act of rudeness (i.e. being a "Karen") are punished by having to give a gift to a randomized victim of a different "Karen" during that same year. The gift recipients are randomized because the "Karens" might find it difficult to give a non-passive-aggressive gift to their own victim. Also: alternative "Karen" punishments; the "Karen" might make you pay to ship the gift or pepper spray you if you pick it up in person; can young people be Karens ("baby Karens"?) or men can be Karens ("Kevins"?); accidentally providing an incentive to incite "Karens"

Vivian Burgett (Instagram: @vivianburgettcomedy)
Juan Carlos Calvachi (Instagram: @jcalvachi)
John Johnson (Facebook: @johnnyrightnow)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Imaginary Friend Prank

Idea: A prank where a group of people at a restaurant pretend to interact with an imaginary friend, including ordering for them, arguing with them, eating the food off their plate (when the wait staff isn't looking), getting the wait staff to sing happy birthday to an empty chair, etc. Also: playing a similar imaginary friend prank at work (with the help of a coworker) for months; fabricating a life story of an imaginary friend, including their dating history, their failed attempts to land a job, etc; creating a Facebook page or GoFundMe for an imaginary friend

Lindsey Boersma (TikTok: @60secondswithsatan)
Rheila Grae (Instagram: @rheila81)
Milan Stromile (Soul of Detroit Bi-weekly Comedy Show in Sterling Heights; Facebook: @milan.stromile.9)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Cooldown Hammock

Idea: A hammock for cooling you down, especially during summer heat emergencies when the power goes out. It would contain a shade with solar panel(s), a fan (which is powered by the solar panels), and hammock ropes which seep out water (like gardening "soaking hoses") which comes from a hose, water bag, or rainwater collection barrel. Also: you could pump icy water through the hammock in plastic tubes instead of dripping out water and getting you wet; a hammock which warms you instead of cools you; silly ideas for reducing body sweat and butt sweat

Lindsey Boersma (TikTok: @60secondswithsatan)
Rheila Grae (Instagram: @rheila81)
Milan Stromile (Soul of Detroit Bi-weekly Comedy Show in Sterling Heights; Facebook: @milan.stromile.9)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Sports Logo Lawn Stencils

Idea: Giant stencils which come with special biodegradable spray paint for you to stencil your favorite sports team's logo (or university's logo) on your lawn for the day of the game, and then wash it off afterwards with a hose. Also: ideas to prevent the stencils from being used for graffiti; using the stencils to mark parking spots; stenciling other things, such as anime characters, Christmas decorations, or angry break-up messages on the lawn

Lindsey Boersma (TikTok: @60secondswithsatan)
Rheila Grae (Instagram: @rheila81)
Milan Stromile (Soul of Detroit Bi-weekly Comedy Show in Sterling Heights; Facebook: @milan.stromile.9)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Concrete-Filled Ketchup Bottle Self-Defense Weapon

Idea: A ketchup bottle with concrete hidden inside to be used as a blunt-force self-defense weapon, so an attacker wouldn't realize it was a weapon and take it from you. Also: the weirdness of carrying around a ketchup bottle; the risk of people asking you for ketchup (which you don't have); carrying a ketchup bottle could give you an excuse for having someone's blood on you (i.e. you could say that it's just ketchup)

Lindsey Boersma (TikTok: @60secondswithsatan)
Rheila Grae (Instagram: @rheila81)
Milan Stromile (Soul of Detroit Bi-weekly Comedy Show in Sterling Heights; Facebook: @milan.stromile.9)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

"The Handler" Hand Movement Replication Robot

Idea: A hand-like robot which repeats hand motions that you program into it, in order to a) control a mouse to do repetitive tasks in videogames (like Runescape or New World), b) perform a musical instrument, c) perform a puppet show or a haunted horror show, d) pleasure a partner (in real-time or later, including possibly after you're dead), etc. Also: whether or not to make the hand look human; accessorizing it with rings and jewelry; childless comedians who're unsure whether little kids use tiny computer mice

Lindsey Boersma (TikTok: @60secondswithsatan)
Rheila Grae (Instagram: @rheila81)
Milan Stromile (Soul of Detroit Bi-weekly Comedy Show in Sterling Heights; Facebook: @milan.stromile.9)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Slideout Front Entry Room

Idea: To replace the typical front door of a house with a "front entry room", for which, leading outside, there are two automatic sliding doors (one that opens side-to-side, and one, like an inch away, that opens upward), and leading inside there is another automatic sliding door. The purpose of this little entry room is to a) allow delivery men to put packages into the room so they don't get stolen off the porch, b) to keep the heat/AC in the house (especially for tiny houses), and c) to eliminate the chance of a swinging door smacking into someone heading through the door in the other direction at the same time. Also: the front entry room could collapse like an accordian or fold up to be flush against the wall when not in use (especially for tiny houses); the risk of it failing or giving someone a claustrophobic panic attack; stories of falling injuries, including Ben's story of falling off a statue at a sports stadium

Mic Gimby (Facebook: @devonaugust.gimby.1)
Amy Jo “Blondie Jo” Ezel (Instagram: @blondiejoezel)
Benjamin Cheek (Relentless Comedy; Facebook: @benjamin.cheek.14)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Daddy Finder App

Idea: An app for submissives to find a dominant "daddy" (or "mommy"), including 1-10 scales of physical dominance and mental dominance or cruelty, personal preferences within a particular fetish, and the desired type of relationship (i.e. one-time daddy, part-time daddy i.e. becoming a couple for whom the fetish stays in the bedroom, or full-time daddy). Also: weird and questionable fetishes; fetishes in virtual reality; a non-sexual Kid Rock cosplay adventure

Mic Gimby (Facebook: @devonaugust.gimby.1)
Amy Jo “Blondie Jo” Ezel (Instagram: @blondiejoezel)
Benjamin Cheek (Relentless Comedy; Facebook: @benjamin.cheek.14)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)

Standup Comedy Discussion

A discussion about doing standup comedy and running a comedy room. Also: the pain of rejection when trying to get a venue to host your comedy show and to get people to come to your show; asking the audience of an in-person comedy show or a MeetMe livestream to donate to your CashApp as a joke, as racial reparations, or because they're lonely introverted men; advice for a nervous new comic who's only performed once in a standup comedy class; ideas for breaking up the monotony of standup comedy shows, such as singing dirty parody songs at a comedy show in a movie theater before showing the movie

Mic Gimby (Facebook: @devonaugust.gimby.1)
Amy Jo “Blondie Jo” Ezel (Instagram: @blondiejoezel)
Benjamin Cheek (Relentless Comedy; Facebook: @benjamin.cheek.14)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma Twitch: @gameymcfitness)