Animal Fight Club Movie

Idea: A movie where evil rich people create a secret gambling ring to bet on fights between species of animals, like a gorilla vs. a grizzly bear. In the movie, the rich people would get their comeuppance and get killed by the animals. Also: debating with friends on who'd win in fights between animals or between animals and people, such as "who'd win: 20 squirrels vs. a guy wearing an acorn suit"; having multiple versions of the movie (like the movie "Clue") so the audience could bet on the (fake CGI) animal fight scenes; casting animal-rights activist celebs to play over-the-top villians who get eaten by the animals

Sara Young (Facebook: @CallMeGracie Web: sys-etching.com)
Nick Kelley (Podcast: Ride AALong Instagram: @nickkelleyyy)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Elderly Parent Driving Prevention Ideas

A brainstorming session on how to prevent or dissuade elderly parents who are too old to safely drive from driving, including practical ideas such as grocery delivery and virtual family videoconferencing, and also silly ideas such breaking the heater in their car, surrounding their house with a moat, and having them wear a "life collar" which shocks them if they leave the yard and also functions as a wearable defibrillator and medication dispenser

Sara Young (Facebook: @CallMeGracie Web: sys-etching.com)
Nick Kelley (Podcast: Ride AALong Instagram: @nickkelleyyy)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

On-Hold Chat Buddy

Idea: For a business who places you on hold to connect you to another person who's also waiting on hold, so you can complain about the company together, become friends, and/or figure out each other's tech support problems. Also: you could try to anger the other person on hold to get them to hang up and you move up in the hold queue; lonely old people could volunteer to chat with people who're on hold, which might eventually cause your grandma to learn tech support and become more tech-savvy than you, in which case SHE will have to help YOU when your computer breaks down

Carl Sobel (Facebook: Comedy Night at River City Saloon Twitter: @carl_sobel)
Parker Hammon (Twitter: @parker_hammon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Bed Box

Idea: A box to cover your bed from your neck down (like you're sleeping in a matchbox or in a coffin which is missing the head part of the coffin lid). You'd put a 2nd layer of bed covers on top of the "bed box" and tuck them in around your shoulders to put your body in an airtight cacoon while you sleep. The main purpose is to allow you to let your house cool down to be super cold at night in the winter to reduce your heating bill, without having an extra layer of bed covers press down uncomfortably on your chest while you try to sleep (because the extra layer of bed covers would be on top of the "bed box"). Also: you wouldn't have to make the bed because the bed covers on top of the "bed box" wouldn't get disturbed while you sleep; you could use the "bed box" instead of a mosquito net (with the aid of a "head box" extension); you could make love inside the "bed box" without worrying about your kids walking into the room and catching you; you could make the "bed box" bulletproof and mount weapons on the top of the inside of the box

Carl Sobel (Facebook: Comedy Night at River City Saloon Twitter: @carl_sobel)
Parker Hammon (Twitter: @parker_hammon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Eavesdrop Diner

Idea: A chain of restaurants where every table is live-streamed on the Internet to allow people watching at home to eavesdrop on their conversations, pay for their food and/or drinks, give them likes, chat/gossip with other eavesdroppers who're watching the same table, and (in some cases) send messages to interact with the people eating at the restaurant. Also: watching first dates, anniversary dinners, arguments, and break-ups; acting fake or fetishy for the camera; a coaster or tracker to allow the camera to follow you around while you do activities (like play pool) in the restaurant; an "event wheel" for eavesdroppers to spin to cause events in the restaurant (for example, to cause a waitress to spill the drinks)

Carl Sobel (Facebook: Comedy Night at River City Saloon Twitter: @carl_sobel)
Parker Hammon (Twitter: @parker_hammon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Retail Worker F You Card

Idea: A card given to retail workers once a year, where if the retail worker gives the card to a rude customer, they can insult, yell at, curse at, and/or humiliate the customer for 30 seconds without consequence (i.e. without getting fired). Also: tracking rude customers who receive "F You Cards" in a government database (i.e. the Chinese "social credit score" but made fun); a rude customer repeatedly receiving "F You Cards" who lashes out against society and becomes the Joker; staging extremely elaborate "F You Card" incidents to try to go viral on the Internet; giving your "F You Card" to the same rude customer 15 years in a row

Carl Sobel (Facebook: Comedy Night at River City Saloon Twitter: @carl_sobel)
Parker Hammon (Twitter: @parker_hammon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Build-A-Mattress Workshop

Idea: A workshop similar to Build-A-Bear but where you build a mattress. The mattress would be super-customized with different combinations of materials (feathers, springs, memory foam, etc.), different firmness settings, etc. Also: you could test it for comfort as you build it; you could make it a "smart mattress" containing electronics and software, which could get a virus and make it impossible to fall asleep or fold in half and kill you

Jack Reeves (Twitter: @jackreeeeves Podcast: NoProbcast)
Nicole Melnyk (Twitter: @mcfancyvonpants Podcast Instagram:@noprobcast)
Simon Carlson (Twitter: @its_ah_me_simon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Street Light Deer Spotlights

Idea: For street light poles to have LIDAR sensors and to use AI (artificial intelligence) to detect deer in the dark and then shine a spotlight on the deer to help drivers see them and thus avoid hitting them. The AI would prevent falsely detecting deer and erroneously turning on the spotlight all the time, unlike crappy motion lights for your house which turn on all the time when the wind blows leaves in nearby trees. Also: if it can detect deer and then turn on (and aim) a spotlight, it could also detect cars and pedestrians and only turn on the normal (stationary) street light if someone is there; to get rid of most of the street signs because drivers can use navigation apps instead; to use spotlights (which are either mounted on street light poles or are being flown by drones) to light the area in front of cars so we no longer have to rely on other drivers to dim their "brights" to not be temporarily blinded as they drive by

Jack Reeves (Twitter: @jackreeeeves Podcast: NoProbcast)
Nicole Melnyk (Twitter: @mcfancyvonpants Podcast Instagram:@noprobcast)
Simon Carlson (Twitter: @its_ah_me_simon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Phone Glasses Detection and Text Size Adjustment

Idea: An app or setting for your smart phone to detect whether you're wearing glasses and adjust the text size accordingly, so you don't have to manually go to settings to increase the text size to read the phone in bed at night after taking off your glasses, and then manually decrease the text size back to normal in the morning. Also: a screen-magnifying phone-charging stand similar to the Nintendo Game Boy "Light Boy Magnifier"; prescription goggles which won't break if you wear them overnight but might trick you into thinking you're underwater and cause you to pee the bed; taking advantage of your privilege to use an old inactivated phone over WiFi as a "night phone"

Jack Reeves (Twitter: @jackreeeeves Podcast: NoProbcast)
Nicole Melnyk (Twitter: @mcfancyvonpants Podcast Instagram:@noprobcast)
Simon Carlson (Twitter: @its_ah_me_simon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Keyboard Cat Blocker

Idea: A device which disables or blocks your keyboard if your cat's gonna sit on it, so it doesn't press random keys and mess up your work or whatever you're doing on the computer. Also: a decoy keyboard; a cat suit made of keyboards to make a keyboard-cat-keyboard sandwich; a keyboard which uses cucumbers or tin foil to scare the cat; if a cat lays on a keyboard, does the cat hair clean the chunks of food out of the keyboard, or does it just make the keyboard dirtier?

Jack Reeves (Twitter: @jackreeeeves Podcast: NoProbcast)
Nicole Melnyk (Twitter: @mcfancyvonpants Podcast Instagram:@noprobcast)
Simon Carlson (Twitter: @its_ah_me_simon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Talking Golf Ball

Idea: A golf ball with a speaker inside to play programmable messages to help you find the ball if you lose it, to yell "fore" if it's gonna hit someone, to allow your golf buddies to program your ball to taunt you if you shoot a bad shot, to make animal noises to scare other people away from your ball or to get animals to move your ball closer to the hole, etc. Also: a multispecies golf relay; a golf ball that makes you listen to commercials before you tee off and which vibrates to mess up your shot if you try to skip the commercials; a really, really, really long headphone cord for the "hard of hearing"

Jack Reeves (Twitter: @jackreeeeves Podcast: NoProbcast)
Nicole Melnyk (Twitter: @mcfancyvonpants Podcast Instagram:@noprobcast)
Simon Carlson (Twitter: @its_ah_me_simon)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Stairbags

Idea: A service that uses artificial intelligence to detect if you're falling down the stairs and quickly deploy a safety mechanism to minimize your injuries, such as inflatable bags that shoot forward out of the vertical portion of each stair ("stairbags"), walls that swing out to block your way before you gain momentum, or stairs that turn into a slip-n-slide with a soft landing of some sort at the bottom of the stairwell. Also: using a vat of pudding or food at the bottom of the stairs, so if you're injured and you can't get up, you can survive on the food for days or weeks; safety concerns about using a vat of alcohol at the bottom of the stairs; using slip-n-slide stairs as a security mechanism to keep burglars from going up the stairs and (optionally) to impale them at the bottom of the stairs

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Possum Pack Rental

Idea: Possums that you can rent to eat all of the ticks in your yard. Also: possums that eat ticks can absorb lyme disease without re-transmitting it; a possum's dead horse smorgasboard; sisterhood of the possum-loving local comics

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Safety Nunchucks

Idea: To put artificial intelligence inside nunchucks that can detect if the nunchuck is about to (accidentally) hit you in the face, and if so, to inflate a small, "swim floatie"-sized airbag contained in the nunchuck to soften the blow before it hits you in the face. Also: the word "foe"; getting hit in the face with a car's airbag during a car crash; chafed nipples from swimming with inner tubes

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Time-Release Caffeine Pills

Idea: A caffeine pill that you take before going to bed at night which kicks in and wakes you up at a specific time in the morning, so you don't have to fight against your tiredness to get up and make coffee in the morning. Also: are classic sleeping pranks real or myth?; a robot which throws a cold, wet washcloth on your face to wake you up; a revelation that requiring stimulants or gadgets to wake up could be a warning sign that you should lead a healthier lifestyle

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Evil Genie Dream Machine

Idea: A sci-fi machine to allow an external signal (such as a computer program or someone else's mind) to control your dreams. However, the dream machine is buggy, so it causes you to get out of bed and do stuff while you're still asleep which is similar to your dream, but slightly different in an evil or humiliating way. Examples: dreaming of sleeping with Wonder Woman and then waking up with an obese neighbor wearing a Wonder Woman T-shirt; dreaming of eating at a fancy restaurant and then waking up with a full stomach but with the cops at your door to arrest you for stealing silverware from a restaurant and for not paying your bill

Avery Sommerfeld (Facebook: @crazeecomedy, YouTube: Funny News)
Lisa Semerad (Facebook: @lisa.semerad.1)
Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

ANNOUNCEMENT OF EPISODE SPLIT, TeslaBot Household Usage Ideas

ANNOUNCEMENT: I'm splitting up the audio files of the first 88 podcast episodes by idea, so if you subscribe to the podcast using an app which downloads audio files (as opposed to streaming them), you might want to make sure that your podcast app doesn't download all of the new audio files of the first 88 episodes at the same time and fill up your phone

Also: Ideas on how to use a TeslaBot in your house, including taking care of your pets when you go on vacation, adjusting your bed covers or turning on/off a fan to help you sleep, doing laundry using a washboard and a bucket, attaching metal bars to your windows every night, doing your makeup in a moving car, gathering water from a hand-pump water well or a stream and emptying your compost toilet (so you don't need plumbing), etc.

Tom Walma (Twitter: @thomaswalma)

Priority Text

Idea: A service which uses surveillance, state-of-the-art artificial intelligence (AI), and data from miscellaneous sources such as health trackers to monitor a loved one (usually an elderly parent) and provide you with enough data (via text) for you to know whether or not to worry about them. For example, if they send you a vague or ominous text message (such as "we need to talk"), the AI would figure out if the message is urgent (i.e. high priority), and color-code the message based on how urgent it is and/or delay notifying you that you received a non-urgent message if you're busy. It could also text you periodic health reports and/or risk reports (sorted from highest to lowest priority) and recommend actions to prevent emergencies from happening (for example, if it sees that your mom stumbled on a loose nail on a stair, it can understand that the loose nail is a hazard and recommend that you fix it before she trips and falls)

Thomas Stineman (Facebook: @thomas.z.stineman)
Justin Siekierka (Comedy Shows: Liberty-Street-Brewing-Co Rusted Crow Canton Village Theater)
Tom Walma (Web: creativitywasted.com Twitter: @thomaswalma)
Felicity Blue (Twitter: @FelFelBlue)

Dino-Sores

Idea: A medication that doesn't cure cold sores, genital herpes sores, or other bodily sores, and instead changes the shape of the sores to look like your favorite dinosaur. Also: this would take away your ability to lie and falsely claim that a cold sore is a pimple; Pokemon-themed sores (you've gotta catch 'em all); the possibility of revenge from the tattoo industry; dino-sore medication side effects during pregnancy and an alternative origin story for Jurassic Park

Thomas Stineman (Facebook: @thomas.z.stineman)
Justin Siekierka (Comedy Shows: Liberty-Street-Brewing-Co Rusted Crow Canton Village Theater)
Tom Walma (Web: creativitywasted.com Twitter: @thomaswalma)
Felicity Blue (Twitter: @FelFelBlue)

Skool

Idea: A K-12 school system based on the principles of cryptocurrency, such as blockchain and smart contracts, for the purposes of 1) reducing corruption (because things like test scores would be visible on the blockchain and things like grading systems and reward systems would be pre-defined and visible on smart contracts), 2) eliminating unnecessary middlemen (such as school administrators), 3) enabling innovative parent-student-community participation (such as voting on which classes and extra-curricular activities are available), 4) enabling innovative incentives for students to learn (such as skipping class if you did well on a test, teachers blocking access to kid's streaming video games at home until they do their homework), and 5) familiarizing students with the principles of cryptocurrency to help them prepare for the future economy. Also: blockchain and the danger of "big brother" and social currency scores; an example of a school unfairly changing the rules in the middle of a contest (which could have been prevented by "smart contracts")

Thomas Stineman (Facebook: @thomas.z.stineman)
Justin Siekierka (Comedy Shows: Liberty-Street-Brewing-Co Rusted Crow Canton Village Theater)
Tom Walma (Web: creativitywasted.com Twitter: @thomaswalma)